a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
