Sponge bath it is.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize