I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
