pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
