she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
