The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
