6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
