I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
