everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
