You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
