Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
