make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize