i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
