my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
