Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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