I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
