Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
