just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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