i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
