This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
