VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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