please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
