I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
