Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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