new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
