is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
