i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
