That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
