Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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