:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
