Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
