I got chris browned last night
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
