He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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