I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize