physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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