He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Someone shattered a urinal.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
