Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
