i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
