Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
foreskin is a definite game changer
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
