I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
