So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize