Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
