I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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