Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize