miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
