Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
