I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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