IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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