I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
