Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
