I think I won the penis lottery.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
