Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
