did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
