i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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