it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You are a genius and a whore.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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