i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
