i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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