I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize