just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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