when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So apparently I’m into choking now
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
