some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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