so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
and she was petting her beer can
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
